Nightime Confessions
by Veronica10
Summary: The Yahoo Gum Drops Challenge. Spoliers for 6.05 Gum Drops.Disclaimer: I don't own them yet, but I am saving my Starbucks money....maybe soon. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Nighttime Confessions

Rated T

A/N: The Yahoo Gum Drops Challenge

Ok I flunked the challenge and went over the word limit. Sorry!

When Sara first heard knocking at the door, she thought she had been hallucinating, and then she thought it was the sound of her own head thudding on the wall as she recounted the day's events with Grissom including his mini-meltdown at her. The rational part of her knew that Grissom was just taking the case hard, but the irrational part of her desperately wanted to smack him. Hearing the door knock again, Sara was snapped out of her reverie and went to answer it in her pj's figuring it was one of the guys wanting change for the vending machine.

The visitor at the door was a guy but not one of the guys. It was Grissom, looking adorably tousled and somewhat sheepish. Sara, still angry took a deep breath and a mental Imodium, and waited for Grissom to speak. When he did, she was incredulous.

"Greg snores." He said. She looked at him disbelievingly.

"Rather loudly, like a chainsaw concerto through surround sound." Grissom stammered. "Anyway, I was wondering…" He trailed off, not knowing how to finish the sentence.

Sara could not believe what she was hearing. After everything today, Grissom expected to waltz in here with his sleepy eyes, sheepish grin, and thick tousled bed head and get to sleep in here, with her.

Sara smiled, realizing that for one of the few times in the relationship, she truly had the upper hand. Wordlessly she smiled, walked to her kit, and handed Grissom the earplugs that she kept in the kit for ballistics testing.

Grissom looked at her, shoulders slumped, but hiding a smile. He knew that Sara would not make it that easy for him, but surprisingly; he did not mind the work.

"Sara I wanted to apologize for the way I acted today. It was unprofessional, and I'm sorry."

Sara nodded. "I accept your apology Grissom. I was just surprised to see you lose it like that."

Grissom nodded. He was desperate to change the topic. "So, can I stay? I swear I don't snore, and I'll sleep on the floor."

Sara laughed. "Are you kidding, the floor is only mildly cleaner than the bed." Grissom looked over Sara and the room. He chuckled when he saw the packaging for flannel sheets in the garbage can, and briefly admired Sara in her black flannel pj pants and matching camisole printed with purple and lavender dragonflies. Even though he couldn't admire her long legs in that get up, her elegant neck and collarbone was on a lovely display.

Sara noted Grissom casing the room and sighed. "Grissom, why does this case upset you so much?"

Grissom glowered. "Leave it alone Sara."

Sara inwardly smiled; she was genuinely concerned and was dying to turn the tables on Grissom. "No Grissom, I will not leave it alone. If you want to stay here, I need to know why you lost it today."

Grissom looked at Sara. Sara looked back. The silence between them was so strong that they could hear the crickets chirping in the next county. Finally he sat on the bed and sighed. Grissom then did the unthinkable. He took off his glasses and wiped his eyes. "Every time I see Cassie, every time I see an abused child, or a neglected child, or one in the system…" he stopped.

Sara sat next to him and held his hand. They sat and savored the silence. Finally Grissom went on. "…I see you. I think of you eleven years old with crazy curly hair and that gapped tooth smile, and I think of you clinging to a stranger's hand covered in blood and frightened. I think of you taking 1st aid classes while in the Brownies so you don't need to go to the emergency room. I see people who failed you, people you were supposed to count on, with me being the biggest failure of them all."

Sara was stunned. This was not what she expected to hear. She cradled Grissom in her arms and murmured comforting words to him. Grissom pulled away.

"See, even now you give me more than I gave. You tell me your secret and all I can do is hold your hand."

Sara felt herself tearing up. She cupped Grissom by the chin. "Baby, its ok. You gave me what I needed." She hugged Grissom and felt him stiffen. Crap. Was he going to turn away now? She let go, and backed away. Grissom looked at her, saw the hurt in her eyes and stammered.

"No Sara, I'm not pushing you away…its just….."

"It's just what Grissom?" She replied icily. She was really beginning to weary of this game with Grissom.

Grissom continued. "Its just, you used to call Hank 'baby' and when I hear you say that, it makes me…makes me."

Sara smiled. "Jealous?"

Grissom went on. "Yes, I was jealous of Hank. I've known about 'this' from the moment we locked eyes, but…but…"

Sara nodded. She was exhausted and so was Grissom, and she knew that if he revealed too much, that there would be consequences tomorrow.

Sara took Grissom by the hand and led him to bed. She pushed him down, tucked him in and removed his glasses, placing by the bedside table. Kissing him on the forehead, she climbed into bed next to him.

Soon Sara fell asleep.

Grissom could not sleep. He watched Sara sleep and wondered what he had done to be given the gift of her understanding and compassion. Why was he considered worthy? He lay there pondering those things when he felt the bed move. Sara was tossing and tears were rolling down her cheeks. "Cassie, where are you honey? Cassie, hang on, please hang on." Grissom sat up incredulously. He flashed to a memory from five years ago, when Sara had snapped at him about nightmares and empathy. At the time he had thought that she was speaking in anger, but he now had the evidence that the cases did give Sara nightmares. Quickly and silently, he rolled over and cradled Sara in his arms. He pushed the hair away from her eyes and kissed her on the forehead, the cheek, and then very softly on the lips. When he saw that she had settled back into the regular breathing pattern of someone asleep, he began to murmur, mostly to himself, but got slightly louder when he reasoned that Sara couldn't hear him.

"Sara I'm sorry I never realized how much the cases effect you. I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend. I'm sorry I haven't been half the man you deserve. I'm amazed at your capacity to love. Any sane woman would have given up years ago, but not you. Or did you always know. You know I love you. You have just been waiting for me to figure it out. I do love you Sara. Once again Grissom kissed her gently on the cheek. Sara rolled over in her sleep, and Grissom took the opportunity to spoon her against him.

Fatigue and darkness had further compromised Grissom's perceptiveness otherwise he would have realized that Sara had been faking sleep from the moment he had taken her in his arms. Sara had rolled over so Grissom would not see the tears in her eyes.

As much as Sara enjoyed being right, she wanted to be right about this when she was conscious. She smiled to herself when she realized that two could play at the confessions game. "I love you Grissom, always have..." she murmured sleepily, even though she was wide awake.

End

A/N Ok since I killed the word limit part of the challenge, should I just shoot it all to hell and add another chapter?


	2. Chapter 2

Nighttime Confessions

Chapter 2: The Morning After

A/N: So for those of us in the States, Gum Drops was a HUGE disappointment on the GSR Scene. I watched the episode like the Pollyanna Girl Scout that I am hoping that Grissom would show up each time they changed scenes. But he didn't. When reading this chapter, please keep in mind that in my world, Gum Drops happened as originally planned. This was going to be a one shot, but since I got so many gorgeous reviews and requests to continue, here goes. The song quoted in Italics is "Baby You Can Sleep While I Drive" by Melissa Ethridge. If you have not bought her new greatest hits CD, go to your music purchasing place of choice and buy it.

They found Cassie and solved the murder of her family. She was recuperating and would soon travel to Oregon to live with her Aunt and cousins. The group had packed up the equipment and headed into their respective Tahoe's. Luckily no one had caught Grissom, and he and Sara had been lost enough in their own thoughts about the night before and the case that the others did not think anything of them sharing the car together alone. The guys had heard of Grissom and Sara's argument and figured that this was probably a good time for Grissom to apologize.

Grissom and Sara drove off. They sat in silence, neither knowing how to bring up the topic of what was said and heard the previous night. The relief of solving the case, and the fear of facing Sara led Grissom to doze off into a fitful sleep. He leaned to face the window and smiled as Sara turned the radio on low. He soon heard some quiet guitar notes and Sara silently singing along:

_Come on baby let's get out of this town  
I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down  
There's a chill in my bones  
I don't want to be left alone  
So baby you can sleep while I drive_

He smiled inwardly and wondered how he could gather the courage to tell Sara what was in his heart. He loved her, and he wanted to take the next step but almost did not know where to begin. He just lay there with the morning sun dappling his face enjoying the sounds of Sara singing. At least while he pretended to doze, he could also pretend that she was singing to him.

Sara looked over at Grissom while he was sleeping. She wondered if she should just confess that she really did hear him the previous night. Part of her realized that Grissom was ready to move forward, and part of her was also afraid that pushing Grissom would cause a retreat, whether he really wanted that retreat or not. Looking over at Grissom again, she noticed that his cap had slipped a little. Sara liked him in his cap best, although she was flattered that he still owned that ridiculous straw hat she had won for him at a carnival in Berkley all those years ago. Although, she still had the small stuffed dog that Grissom had won for her. _ I'll buy you glasses in Texas a hat from New Orleans  
And in the morning you can tell me your dreams  
_

Grissom wondered if Sara had remembered that the straw hat he had taken to wearing lately was the hat she had won for him at a carnival, a few days before his seminar he was teaching ended. They had eaten too much fried dough and sat on the pier and talked about plans for the future, Grissom being brave enough to venture a return trip to Berkley or a trip to Vegas for Sara. He had hoped that she would see that hat as a sign, and maybe make the first move again to save him from his cowardice.

_  
You know I've seen it before  
This mist that covers your eyes  
You've been looking for something  
That's not in your life_

With those lyrics Grissom thought about Sara's eyes and the secrets they held. Dark expressive eyes, that would prevent her from playing professional poker. He had seen the pain in her eyes for years now, but tried not to think about that pain, its origin and how much of it he was directly responsible for.

_  
My intentions are true  
Won't you take me with you  
And baby you can sleep while I drive  
_

Grissom thought of all the times that Sara had reached out and he had pushed away. He had told himself a million things, he was too old, too odd, too quiet, and that she could do better, should do better. But maybe, love did not work that way. Emotions were not rational, but Grissom was, and it was never his feelings for Sara that he doubted, just his worthiness of her love, and the fear of providing her with the ultimate disappointment. After last night, he realized that the only disappointment for Sara would be if he never made an effort at all.

_  
Oh is it other arms you want to  
Hold you _

_The lover you're free  
Can't you get that with me_

Sara wondered if Grissom knew her jealousy of Sofia, or Catherine, of the rumors she had heard about Lady Heather. She wanted to be Grissom's, but in a way that was easy to explain and identify. Maybe she should just tell Grissom that she loved him, and despite her best efforts, and his best efforts, would always love him, or would that scare him more.__

If you won't take me with you  
I'll go before night is through  
And baby you can sleep while I drive

At those lyrics, Grissom almost snapped awake. He remembered a few years ago after an explosion being told, "You know, by the time you figure it out, it could be too late." No yelling or hysterics like his other failed relationships. Just a simple statement of facts and a shrug. He knew, the alarm had gone off on their relationship before, and he had hit the snooze button repeatedly, with a plant, a hand hold, a compliment, a smile, and that last night was his last smack of the snooze button. If he did not act before the next alarm, he would have overslept and been irretrievably too late for 'this'.

Since he did not know what to say, he acted. Sara was a scientist, she could appreciate actions. He noticed her hand brushing some hair from her face. He woke, up, took his hand in hers and kissed it. Sara was surprised, but instead of pulling away, she lifted his hand to her lips and returned the kiss.

They sat holding hands, while Sara drove, looking eagerly into the promise of the day.

The End

A/N: This is really the end on this one. I need to finish Dominion or there is some circle of hell waiting for me.


End file.
